An Ultraviolet Shade of Ridiculous

Here is a little song parody I wrote last summer after being completely frustrated by the cell phone habits of a few of my California youth group kids. I figured if you are going to worship your cell phone, you should have a good worship song for it. Feel free to use this as necessary to make the point, but please please don't get ever let this replace the original song.

The Cell Worship Song

You are my cell phone
And you are ringing
And I will answer
All of my calls
I will pick up
And I will listen
And I will talk with
All of my friends

Men:
And I will sing to
The ringtones
And set it
On vibrate
And I will answer
In a quick manner
Even if it’s
Distracting
And I will talk to
And worship
My phone who
Is worthy
And I will love and
Adore you
I will never
Not charge you

 Women:
You are Verizon
Can you hear me now?
You are Cingular
With rollover
I will talk on you
No matter what
I won’t know what to do
If I can’t have you
I can’t take a message
I’m afraid I’ll explode
I will even pick up
When on silent mode
In the bank, theater
At the church, in my car
Oh no I can’t call
I don’t have any bars

 You’re my gift of gab and I will live my life for you.

 I follow that up with "This has been a public service announcement. Last time I checked your cell phone did not die for you. It has an off button, voice mail, and the message won't change if you listen to it an hour later. And in case of emergency, well as if no emergency ever happened before cell phones existed, and humanity is still here. Please use cell phone courtesy."

(posted while listening to Led Zeppelin-In Through the Outdoor. The song playing at the moment is "Hot Dog" which is by far Led Zeppelin's most ridiculous song.)