P.I.T.A.

On thing that I miss about California is that vast amusement I get to have at P.E.T.A. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). I tried to catch any talk show I could with them on, because they inevitably make me laugh hysterically. The first time I remember hearing an interview with one of their members was on the Michael Medved show in Sacramento. I was laughing so hard I had to pull over because I was afraid I would wreck my car. One of the guest's stances was that "as long as we slaughter innocent animals, we will always have people like Hitler." Ummm, Hitler was a vegetarian. And he loved and was very kind to his pet dogs. The guest was also talking about how his belief came from his Christian faith. When Michael asked him about the miraculous catch of fish, this is the part that made me almost wreck, the man said that if you go back to the Greek, "you will see that the word translated for fish actually means 'fishweed' which is an edible type of algae." The interview only got more entertaining from there.

This last week, some representatives have struck at my workplace, which I will refer to anonymously as Toxic Belch. On the outside of the drive through window was a sticker of a little chicken with the message, "Jesus loves me too. Go Vegetarian." Ahh, how cute. But this prompted me to think, what is a reasonable stance on the enslavement and slaughtering of intelligent animals? If they are as intelligent and capable as animal rights people say they are, I must believe that they are capable of taking up their own cause. My stance is this: As soon as I have an animal come up to me and ask for its release, I will gladly grant it and abstain from using them as a meal in the future.

I believe that is a reasonable stance, because I do not believe in keeping innocent people against their will.

But until that day, I will unabashadly be a speci-ist and a proud member of P.I.T.A. (People Ingesting Tasty Animals)

-Written to the Celtic rock of Iona-"Open Sky"