Kids try to get you to believe incredible stuff when you sub. "But the teacher always lets us go through her desk." And I'm sure I can just rummage through your backpack. "She always lets us work in groups." Really? You know I had the teacher when I was in school. Etc. etc. So I decided to get the students. hehe
It subbed for the same teacher on Monday and Tuesday, and it was a 6th grade world history class. And he actually let me teach instead of giving busy work, which I really enjoyed. Monday we went over the Aryan migration to India starting in 1500 B.C. which was preceeded by a little lesson on why history is important. (The more you know your history, the more you know about yourself, others, and current events. Historical illiteracy creates a myopic and gullible people.) Tuesday the school was doing something special in the morning, so all of the schedules were messed up, and since I wanted to keep the classes on the same topic, and it was the day before Thanksgiving break, and it was 6th grade with an abnormal schedule, and all those factors will typically create chaos, we just watched a movie instead. (The teacher I was subbing for was fine with it.)
Everyday they have to write an objective for each class in their planners. I wrote on the board a fake assignment. "Begin research on a 3 page paper discussing how the Aryan migration into India has affected present day culture. Due next Friday. No homework." The questions were great. Did (the teacher) assign this? What do you mean no homework? What do we research? Can we skip lines in the paper? Does that mean a front, back, front or 3 papers? I told them, "You will have classtime to work on it next week. But in the meantime we will watch a movie and the teacher will explain more when he gets back. But today we will watch a movie."
I almost felt sorry for the good students who went into panic mode. So we started watching "Over the Hedge" and a few minutes into it I put the screen at the front of the room that hangs down over a whiteboard up. Under it was written, "Ignore the objective, Gotcha! Happy Thanksgiving!" It usually took them a few minutes before they noticed it, despite the loud sound of the screen going up. And of course a few of them would ask me, "So that means we don't have to do that?" There were always a couple who when I mentioned it at the end of class said something like, "You mean that was a joke?" Sixth graders are so observant.
But the best part is then I would then get the class in on it. I told them to make sure not to tell anyone it was a joke, in fact, let the later classes know they will have a lot of work to do. It worked great. Each class was a little reactionary. The last class was all a buzz when they got in the room, and they had the most aggressive questioning, and the biggest sigh of relief when the screen went up. And the most fun of all, is when it was all said and done, the students had a lot of fun with it. I know I'm sadistic, but I did enjoy the panic in their faces. And so did a couple of other teachers that knew what I was doing. I think they liked the joke more than I did.
I love it when kids try to mess with me. I mess back, but in nondestructive ways.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. And I want the comments to this post to be at least 550 words typed and double spaced using 12 point font. Due by next post.
--written to Genesis "We Can't Dance"
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4 comments:
Sixth Graders are so observant! Ha! Good story.
Do I have to type it? Can I turn it in early? Can I monospace it? Is this a real assignment? Did Mr. Ko tell you to tell us that? What is reality? What is the answer to the question of the life, the universe, and everything? Can I have a canary on my lightswitch please?
Mr. Canary,
First, I must say that it frightens me that someone as twisted and sadistic as you could be allowed to have influence on our children. When I was brought up, we were blessed with teachers who genuinely cared about the children's welfare. Teachers that delighted in their success, took responsibility for their students failures, and whipped the fire out of any student that hindered the overall education of the class by stepping out of line. I remember those beatings with a painful nostalgia. We need teachers who care enough to beat the kids and make them hurt physically, for this is good and pleases the principal. But taking advantage of thier weak self esteem, and immature emotions is quite perturbing. I cannot remember any point in our history since the Aryan migration to India where such a desperation for decent teachers presented itself. Were you not hugged enough as a child or did you hatch from your mother's womb with this bitterness and anger already growing in that hole where your heart should be. I fear that our children are now more insecure, ill-equipped, undisciplined, and flat out stupid-er for having had you as a substitute teacher. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.
It's good to hear you're subbing, I haven't worked up the courage yet. Target seasonal minion for me. i have to admit i would have been an indignant and paniced 6th grader, but revenge is sooo much fun.
P.S. I miss having a bit of blue canary around.
PPS send greetings to C & L for me
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