Some Thoughts on Death

A couple of weeks ago Cecil and I were teaching a class together and we watched a video about dealing with death and loss (Rob Bell's Nooma video #12 "Matthew"). Unfortunately it is an experience that everyone must go through at some point in their lives. Next week will be the 13th anniversary of my father’s death, and I miss him on a completely different level now then I did as a 15 year old learning how to face life without my dad.

My father, Robert, moved from West Tennessee to New Jersey in the late 50s so that we could work as a vocational missionary. He worked for the post office while helping to establish a congregation. It wasn’t until the early 60s that my mom moved there to do the same thing after graduating college. It was there they met, married, and started raising four children, of which I am the youngest. When my dad retired from the post office, he wanted to move home, so we moved to West Tennessee.

I say all that to give you some background on who I am, but mostly to tell you the conversations that I missed being able to have with my dad. He moved to New Jersey without knowing anyone, but with a heart for ministry. After I graduated, I moved to Sacramento, California knowing no one but with a heart for ministry. I wonder how my dad handled some of the difficulties of a faith move like this: the insecurity, the loneliness, the doubt, the excitement, the joy of making new friends and learning, watching God provide in amazing ways, learning what it means to live by faith. In some of the difficult moments I wish that could have talked to my dad about how he handled different situations, how he handled the struggles of being in a new place, talking about victories where we see God working in our ministries and in our lives. I wish I would have been able to know my dad on that level, when we could share common experience, and he could give me the wisdom that he learned. I miss him, but I am thankful for the time that I had him.

Many of you have experienced death. Death of a parent, friend, sibling, child. Yet it is the fate of everyone who lives to die. Why is it so difficult when we know it is the destiny of everyone? I think there is something deep within us that knows death is unnatural and our souls cry out. Death was a punishment for sin. It was not meant to be in the beginning. It touches us all and we feel it’s cold chilly blast deep in our hearts. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that God has set eternity in our hearts. But death is so mortal, so finite, so...wrong. It was not what we were originally created for.

In the video, the speaker reminded us to grieve, just let it out. Grieve unashamedly and just let it come as it does. Hearts will heal, but they will never be the same. There are no easy answers to death, and I’m not going to offer any with this post. I do believe that it is as much a mercy as a punishment, because how terrible would it be to forever live in a sinful, messed up world. But there is something in us that knows this is not how it is supposed to be. But God went through it. Jesus died. He rose. Death is not the final verdict. I have hope. In the midst of loss I have hope. Jesus wept. Jesus rose.